march 16

so it was a blessing in disguise of some sort. thanks to the cerita melayu bodoh. the whole thing came back haunting abang. ironically it was haunting me too. then abang confronted me. and i realised, when i wanted so much to live in December, it was only for abang. if he still cannot forget the biggest mistake God has created for a woman, then there is no point living. ironically too, i am no longer interested to see myself getting better. if i have to live through this pain and discomfort, i might as well forget about living. everyone else looks really comfortable around me. i don't think without me will make any much difference.